Can I help you?

Last week I was preoccupied with cleaning while a news program was on. He was a baby boomer, talking about baby boomers. The discussion was on the attitudes of the 1960's and 1970's, the me generation and how it brought our world to the place it is now. My ears perked up because I too after years of self involvement realized the value of stepping outside of myself to help others.

Churches have always understood the divine process around helping others, and being of service. One of my favorite examples was Mother Teresa, who left her life to be of service to those that the world rejected.  Her entire life was made of the divine dignity of being available for God’s creatures.

Years ago when I first got sober, it was suggested (code for strong advice), that to stay clean, I needed to give back to my community. I was unmoved. Didn’t my sponsor realize I needed time for me?  At the time I felt I had nothing to give. The truth was that I was more a poster child for what not to do with your life.  I did persist and find a task to do where I was contributing to my group. I was the coffee and clean up girl before the meeting.  I made coffee and made sure the cups, creamer and sugar were out for members. After the meeting I cleaned up left over styro foam cups, emptied ashtrays, and cleaned up the coffee pot.  In those early days, it did indeed make me feel like I was contributing member, that I belonged to the group and my own recovery. Later that same woman told me to do one nice thing a day and forget about it. Do not tell a single person, open a door, or smile.  That any little thing would count, it is all service.

The more I learn spiritually, the more I see how service work is about being trustworthy.  It is caring for one of God’s creatures, and I am one of them. It is also a part of building character.  Character, is what we build here on this plane and lasts with us well beyond this life. It is the true karma we aspire to. Service is an honor and a privilege.  The Urantia says to help another in any way is a divine dignity. It is part of the divine give and take.

The more you give, the more you receive. This is the spiritual principle of these simple charitable acts. I want you to really let that sink in. The more you give the more you receive. This does not require foolish giving that is not healthy, it is the mere action of respecting another of God’s creatures.  That is all. So when you are out and someone is carrying a bag that is too heavy, hold the door open and smile. 

Inspiration or Collaboration?

No one will argue with you when you say the last 200 years of human existence are some of our most progressive as far as civilization is concerned. Now we could argue that there have been other civilizations equally advanced technologically. Some say Atlantis was such a place. However for this blog I want to stay with this present incarnation. The ideas, the technological advances, the need for social reforms are moving forward faster and faster each day.

Teilhard De Chartin, a name obscure to a lot of us, wrote a book called The Phenomenon of Man.  He was a philosopher and Jesuit priest, he was also a paleontologist and geologist. He helped discover the Peking Man. He threw out his Catholic doctrine at times, which of course caused him nothing but problems with the Church. I loved that he believed human beings had evolved to such a degree we had come to the brink in our evolutionary process. That we were ready our for our psychic, spiritual "gifts".

I agree. I also believe it will come first to those of us who seek out a spiritual connection to the divine and work with our gifts.  We All Have Them!  They are gender inclusive and age inclusive. They come to all religions and ethnicity.  I say that especially because in parts of the world, women and children are held separately.  To the Divine, our creator, we all stand  naked spiritually. The psychic energy is available to all. What is most important is that we all cooperate together. Environmentalists know this on a level as do humanitarians. We need just raise our consciousness to our own highest level, with a pure heart to use this psychic/spiritual energy.

 

It is great energy that spurs you on.  The more dedicated to an idea, or a thing the more you are driven to succeed. It is psychic energy. It is also like a river, the more it is used, it creates channels in your psyche, which allows the ideas of the future to flow more freeing.  There is a principle I highly believe in, it is that the more you do or create, the more you can do or create. If you keep pushing your own boundaries, there is no end that can't be pushed back.  I was watching someone on TV playing football, he jumped high and made a touch down.  50 years ago, he would not have been able to do that as he was an amputee. Now prosthetics are so advanced, he jumped and landed, while running with a football.

There is an easy exercise I was taught to start the energy to flow;

• Breathe in to the count of 5
• Hold to the count of 10 and visual a bright white light above you, let it be yours, if it is 2 feet or 10 wide let it be yours see it shimmer and pay attention to what you think or see in your minds eye.
• Release your breath to the count of 5 imagine you are raising yourself higher into that light above you. Be in the center of that light.

It may relax you to the point of wanting a nap, but immediately use that energy, writing or whatever you want to create or accomplish. Do not be concerned if your immediate results are slow, as with most things, practice, practice, practice. Whether you are writing a novel or creating a screenplay, coming up with policy or working with others, the process is the same.


So where does our inspiration or energy come from? Simplistically we could say our Creator, whom I call God.  I believe that to be true. I believe in a creator. However I believe there is more to it.  We are all connected to each other and are actually a part of each other. On the higher level, there are many pictures, ideas, technologies, philosophies and solutions to problems that are available to us all. I believe that we can collaborate with each other, that we can mentally attune ourselves to our companions when working  to produce solutions, create works of beauty, social reform and anything that is wanted or needed. I think one great example of this is Orville and Wilbur Wright, and the fantastic flying machine. Our own United States is an example of a bunch of rag-tag soldiers with papers shoved in their worn out boots persevering onward for a better life. When I read today about Ambassador Christopher Stevens, I was greatly saddened.  I was moved again by the need for we humans to create a world where we live in peace.

Is Karma a Punishment?

I was speaking with a client yesterday. She had been unceremoniously dumped by a boyfriend.  Justifiably, she was hurt.  Then she said something to me, "Will he get his Karma soon, I hope he does."  Now I have heard this line and variations many times. This time it hit something in me, so I thought I would explain my understanding of the principal of Karma.

First lets talk about what Karma is not:

• Karma is not an excuse for why you can not better your position, ie. "I was just born this way, it is my Karma", or "It's just my Karma". 
• Karma is not fate 
• It is not a punishment

Having said this I want to tell you what Karma is, at least in my understanding of the complex term.  Karma has to do with action and reaction.  There is a scientific premise that says for every action there is a equal reaction. Ok I paraphrased that, but that is the general premise.  Karma has to do with the moral fiber of the universe. It says generally similar actions will lead to similar results.  Also that each action we perform affects the world around us.

I want to veer off for a minute and discuss Karma in the terms of humanity.  Karma can explain much better the condition of the world and its people than any other theory I have come across. If you believe we live many lives, and I do, this will make great sense.  On this planet we all are at different levels. Some are born into poverty, some into wealth. Some are righteous people, some dysfunctional. Some people are kind, some mean, and you get where I am going with this.

The Law of Karma says something we did or wanted to do helped us get where we are.  It seemed to me in regard to suffering that some people just never get a break, a good chance to have a different experience. Africa in general is a great example. There are other places in the world also but, when I was young and would see these pictures of tall thin women with their starving babies, with bloated bellies and flies buzzing around them, it broke my heart.  I wanted to know how God could do this.

As I understand Karma more, maybe they contracted before they came here, to help us improve our humanity and compassion. Maybe they had lessons that it would teach them. Is the Karma for them or for us who view them and can help?  The honest truth is that while we are here we don't know for sure.  I tend to not think of Karma negatively, because we don't know.

I want you know the older I get I realize that spirituality is very simple, and the most complex thing I have ever been exposed to. It is simple in that prayer and meditation are the bedrock, that we do not have to be perfect to be loved by the creator, or people, and that more effort we expend the more we get. That giving almost magically works to bring in abundance.  Those are simple principles.  I say this because understanding Karma is sometimes complicated.

I read that Karma can be good or bad. How do we know what the effects will be? I read that Buddha said, the good or bad effect of the action must be looked at from the point of view of the long term effects. Again I poorly paraphrase. He goes on to say that bad or unwholesome acts have 3 doors or parts. They have body, mind and speech. How many times have you said something that you wish you could take back?   The 3 acts of the body are killing, stealing and sexual misconduct.  The 4 acts of the speech are lying, slander, malicious gossip and harsh speech.  The 3 acts of the mind are delusion, greed and anger.  I want to tell you the conditions on which these occur  make a difference in their Karmic effect.

The weight of the Karma can be affected by several things; persistence, repeat the action, do the action with intention and determination and action is done without regret. If this done, it is like using a highlighter on the action and then circling it. It stands out. These determine the weight of the Karma. Sometimes you can see it in your own life.  I have noticed that things done to me as a small child, I have had the chance to change to another as I have aged.  There times I have done something in my life and as I have aged, it has happened to me. As a youth I was sure of my ideals, and judged, sometimes harshly. I aged, I have been judged and sometimes harshly.  Sometimes Karma takes more than one lifetime.  Sometimes it is a pattern over and over. Can we change it?

I want to say this clearly. With every thought and interaction we can make a dent in our Karma.  It is with  living beings that we can practice each and everyday. In our hearts and in our minds, and in our actions.  So you can effect Karma, and it is not a sentence, but a process by which you grow more spiritual and closer to our creator.

I Have Seen You somewhere Before....

Sound familiar?  When I was growing up, there was a saying I don't hear much anymore, that everyone has  a double somewhere in the world.  There are also real life stories of people who have literally run into people who look exactly like them.  In literature the word "doppelganger" (a German word meaning double walker) is used to described this paranormal phenomenon.


I found a few stories of famous people who have had doppelganger encounters:

• Percy Bysshe Shelley, who was a well known English poet in his own right, and the husband of Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein. He saw his doppelganger several times in his life, normally when he was ill.  When he was in Italy shortly before his 29th birthday, he again saw his doppelganger pointing to the Mediterranean Sea. Shortly thereafter Shelley drown at sea.
• Queen Elizabeth I walked into her boudoir one day and saw herself lying on her bed. She died shortly after.
• Abraham Lincoln saw in the mirror himself as two faces, more than one time.  One face had a very pale pallor on it. He saw it more than one time. When he told Mary she was worried. She thought it meant he would be elected a second term, but would not live through it. He was assassinated in 1865.
• One I considered fascinating is "a case that suggests that doppelgangers might have something to do with time or dimensional shifts, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, the 18th century German poet, confronted his doppelganger while riding on the road to Drusenheim. Riding toward him was his exact double, but wearing a gray suit trimmed in gold. Eight years later,Von Goethe was again traveling on the same road, but in the opposite direction. He then realized he was wearing the very gray suit trimmed in gold that he had seen on his double eight years earlier! Had Von Goethe seen his future self?"(1)

In our culture of present day doppelgangers are seen as omens of darkness, even impending death. In literature there are often reasons for these doppelgangers. They represent evil, in the battle of good and evil. Edgar Allen Poe wrote a short story "William Wilson", a man who is living destructively is followed by his doppelganger as his he was not living up to his moral fiber.  The famous ballet movie with Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman, The Black Swan was a great portrayal of the cinematic role of the doppelganger.

Even in my own life, my doppelganger appeared to my son. I was in another part of the house. It was during a period of duress in my life. Adrian had died a couple of years before, I dated a man after that was totally unhealthy for me, and I was lost. It sort of frightened me. I wasn't sure what it meant.  Was I going to die?  Was I astral projecting? I did not like either one of these options.  Years later, I still don't understand.  I haven't done it since that I am aware of. It goes to my theory of multidimensional living. In the most ordinary lives, the universe finds a way to intervene. It makes me realize how intricate and interesting the process of our creation is. That though is another blog.

1. www.paranormal.about.com/

The Dark Half

Do you long to see those who have harmed you get what you think is coming to them?  Do you wish Karma was immediate, maybe even retroactive?  Well you are not alone, I have spoke to many people who wish they "got what was coming to them", or wonder how they can just have this great life, when they have been so cruel. I notice as I am speaking to people and they continue on with the conversation, they begin to feel guilt themselves. So will even say something like, "I am really not a bad person, it just seems so unfair they could do so well, when they have hurt me."  They struggle with their own dark feelings.  Jung calls that our shadow self, it includes dark and unknown aspects of our personalities.

The Shadow self is made up of choices. We choose by acting or not acting in a certain way. When you choose to call the boyfriend’s wife, that is a choice.  When you choose to let go and move forward, that also is a choice.  This can be done on little tiny slights that hurt someone. You just don't return calls, or don't choose the other person for your book club.  Thomas Moore in the The Care of The Soul says “The person we choose to be automatically creates a dark double-the person we choose not to be.”  One of the most popular stories that illustrates the principal is Robert Louis Stevenson’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that shows a man with who life splits because of it. It is almost like having a dark twin that resides inside of us.

Though we live in a free culture in the USA, at times some of own choices seem not free at all. It appears our choices are made by our families, our friends or work.   Women are taught not to be as assertive and boys not to cry. Now these are very generalized, but you get my meaning. Repressed your feelings enough and these feelings or parts of our personality can become detrimental, harming ourselves and others.  This is true especially when they are acted out.  Anger, sexual repression, lying and stealing even addictions are examples of this.  They seem to unleash an almost “other” personality to a normally well adjusted Person. 

There are ways, numerous ways to cope with these parts of one’s personality.  The first I believe is to accept, even embrace it. Why, you ask, it is human part of our personality.  The next part of this is to find a healthy way to express it.  I always suggest expressing it through writing, talking to a safe person, through exercise, art,  there are many ways.  I know a gentle man, who had what he considered a dark side, and he did role playing games, liked science fiction. Though not a fan of Shadow Run myself, it helped him.  I never saw it manifest in destructive patterns.

There is a positive side to this.  A seemingly gentle person who finally stands up for themselves in an uncharacteristic stance, is also using a shadow side.  It says, “enough is enough and I am not going to take it anymore.”  Or, “I am just going to do it, I don’t care what people think.” It creates freedom, and even ambition, positive change.    These characteristics need to honed and made a positive part of the person. They can be part of a spiritual experience when people make broad sweeping changes.

The shadow represents what is  repressed or hidden in us. A lot of times you see it in a person both male and female in mid life.  We call them crisis, but sometimes they are that part repressed for too long pushing to the surface.  These pieces can be integrated with the person.  Then a whole new life formed by own them and examining them.  Assimilating one’s shadow is the greatest expression of a human life.  So when you think you want to call his wife, embrace it and call a friend, or journal, or just go to the gym and exercise until you feel it.  Pause when agitated or doubtful is one of the best pieces of information anyone has ever given me.

So What About Perfection?

Can we really ever be perfect? Is our desire to be perfect obtainable or merely an illusion? I watched recently the original Star Trek, with Captain Jim, and it is a classic.  Watching the show was joyful, it was full of good memories.   Then I shared Star Trek with my 14 year old son, who actually liked it.  As we watched it, I started to judge it in my head.  I judged the special effects. They are antiquated compared with any of the movies of today. As I continued to watch not only did my son and I share a great afternoon, but I came to like the show more and more.  

 Anyway I started thinking about the huge block buster Superman chain, and the newly released Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises. How intricate and complex they were and how flawless they appeared.  Even our favorite Twilight movies are more perfection.  When I grew up vampires were creatures that did not exist in light and certainly did not sparkle.  They were not vegans, and especially not emergency room doctors. Though slightly romantic, they sucked blood and took your life. They were monsters.  The end.  Now I love the Twilight movies so for the rest of this blog I remove it from comparison.

I was watching Leonard Nimoy (I always thought Spock and I had a future) and William Shatner.  These actors were beautiful, but not perfect.  The heroic Captain Kirk, handsome and muscular, "going where no man had gone before". The statuesque Nimoy who wrote poetry in real life.  They were perfect in their own imperfection. There was always that extra crew member that went down on whatever planet, and was killed.  Jim would say,"Crew man Jones is going with you".  You knew then Jones was doomed.   The sets now resemble a high school production at best. Then it was expressed with the utmost creativity and science fiction advances. 

We arrogantly seek a perfect healthy younger body, to make all our dreams come true. Maybe we're creating a perfect romantic relationship.  Or starting a business, with the cliches “be all you can be”, or “just do it.” Whatever it is. If not then somehow our life seems a little less wonderful , and we are diminished.  We have in the last 45 years since this show, airbrushed ourselves in every possible way both literally, and metaphorically.

From my point of view this is sad, just plain sad.  We are never going to be perfect, we are not meant to be perfect, we are meant to be human.  We are meant to have a human experience.  I could blame technology or Hollywood, but both of these are responses to our dreams, fantasies and desires.  Does that mean I don’t want to improve? No it does not.  I try every day to do the best I can to improve. My life is a work in progress.  I feel at times, we have lost the beauty of God and the joy at being alive.

 We have just forgotten that fantasy is just that, a fantasy.  Our flawed bodies give us life and except for the 159 lb 5 year old girl, we were made to go through this life this way. Our bodies give love and give life back. Our flawed relationships are our companions, and frankly they are getting more difficult to find. A lot of us are waiting for the perfect woman with the perfect body or the man who will make great money and not burp in public.  We all are not going to be CEOs, or movie stars or super sport stars.They are exceptions not the rule.

The rest of us, the rule, are the substance of our world.  We matter as much as the  stunning exceptions.  As I age, I value the imperfection, the overworked mother without make up raising small children on too little money, she is the hero.  The man who works really hard in the mines to feed and care for his family, he is a hero. They are all imperfect by our airbrushed, “reach for the stars" over achieving population.   When I grown up I want their character, their hard work, and the ability to fly poorly and land badly.  So embrace your diversity and your uniqueness.  Right now in our world,  that is to "Boldly go where no man has gone before".

It's the Story of My Life

www.angelicvisions-healing.com

I spoke to a client today after her boyfriend left her, ran off and married another woman.  Her last words to me before she hung up were,  “it’s the story of my life.”  At some time in our lives, I know many of us have felt this way.  So are we destined to replay the roles in our romantic lives over and over? Astrologers will  point out that there are certain markers in a natal chart, that could leave us reacting in certain ways. I will suggest this definitely has an influence, but your love life is determined more by nurture than nature.  Meaning that we have choice in how our love life goes.  That the choices we make romantically have more to do with our views of ourselves and how we were raised, than a predestined fate. That is not to say I do not believe in destiny bring to soulmates together. I absolutely believe in that, and you still have choices to make.  I am also aware that in some cultures parents choose mates. So I am not addressing other cultures. I have not experienced it and would be uneducated about the process.

We can never control fully another person, we can control how we come across, how we handle our lives, how we look (at least to some degree) to our romantic partners.  I have a saying that is true for me. In my life, it is not the men I have treated the best who have loved me the most. It is the men that I have been willing to be myself around and not be concerned how they saw me. Those are the men who have stood by me.  I say this mostly because it has taken me lots of dating and many years to understand this.

For years,  I drank, I drank every day.  I did not do drugs really (pot being the exception), I just loved a good disco, then dancing, then parties, then just liquor.  As I drank, my relationships got progressively more dysfunctional.  Why wouldn't they?  I was using "bad" bait.  I attracted more dysfunctional people, and romantically I seemed in pain a lot. Later I just did not care. Any hopes of real love were gone, I was just looking for relief and some kind of companionship and sex.

By the time I got sober, I blamed my love life on the people I was involved with. Guess what? I brought those people in my life and involved myself with them. I was the common denominator. However for a time I continued to see myself as a victim. Luckily for me, I had good people in my life who practiced tough love. I began to see I was a volunteer not a victim, and I was at times a perpetrator of a bad relationships. I did it in all kinds of ways. I did not honor myself. I could not set boundaries with people,  if I wanted to date you I would do anything to date you, including changing myself into a pretzel, spending monies I did not have, skip work to be with you, ignore the way you treated me, and encourage you to comeback knowing all those things. In the end, I picked people I did not even respect to fill the void.

I have learned so much in the last 22 years. It happened gradually, and I was at my healthiest when I met my husband.  I could say no, I was independent; I took care of my body, my money and spirit.  I had friendships with others. At that point I was more a whole person than I had ever been.  I was firm with  my boundaries to the point of almost letting go of him.  He altered what he was doing, I did not.

I tell you this because it is a universal truth that anyone can apply. There is nothing special about me. In fact I would go so far to say if I can put forth that effort, anyone can. I am queen of mistakes. The process starts with us. If he says he doesn’t want a commitment, and you can’t negotiate something you can be comfortable with, believe him. If it turns out different, you will know, because he will change it. If you want to catch a better fish, use better bait. We have a choice from how we carry ourselves, to how we let ourselves be treated, and the 1000s of small things in between. So indeed it is my belief now that we are co-creators with God in our lives. We are not destined to repeat our past romantic mistakes unless we choose to. There is another choice.

So help yourself to recover, there are a myriad of ways from 12 step groups, to therapy both group and private, to books, and support groups.  A lot of these are low or no cost. Even church's have groups that meet in their parishes. So the choice is up to you, what kind of a relationship do you want?